


Broken Vow

by Kokuroo_11



Series: HQ Weddings Trilogy [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wedding Planner, Angst with a Happy Ending, BokuAkaKuroTsukki - Freeform, Headcanon, M/M, Post-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28233804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kokuroo_11/pseuds/Kokuroo_11
Summary: After five years since they broke off their engagement, Akaashi Keiji, a well-known wedding organizer saw his ex-fiancé again, Bokuto Koutaro, in Shouyo and Kenma's wedding. And to make it more interesting (read: worse), Koutaro asked Keiji to plan his wedding with another person.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: HQ Weddings Trilogy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068251
Comments: 26
Kudos: 74





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> My first HQ fic here. I was already working on this fic for a long time and alr posted this in one of my rpa but with a different ship when I sunk down in a shit hole and emerged back to life with a massive writer's block. Haha. I hope y'all enjoy this. Comments will be greatly appreciated. ^_^

Akaashi sighed and looked around the area. The reception is already in full swing. He smiled when he observed that everything went well.

He's the organizer of the wedding but at the same time, he's Hinata's best man so his stress is doubled. He can't roam around and check everything like he always does. Good thing he has reliable and well-trained staff and a responsible and trust worthy assistant which is Yukie, he can heave a sigh of relief. Of all weddings he handled, he want this one to go the best. Of course, it is the wedding of their group's babies.

"Akaashi? What are you doing here?" He got out of his trance when he heard the voice of one of his friends. He look at them and saw Kuroo, Tsukishima, Lev and Yaku.

They are all friends since high school including Kenma and Shoyo who has been highschool sweethearts and well, until now obviously, they're the married couple after all. They're all part of a volleyball team in their respective schools and one fortunate summer camp brought them all together. There's also another one who was his teammate before and Kuroo's another best friend but well...

"AKAASHI-SAN!!!" A high pitched squeal made him smile immediately, breaking his train of thoughts.

"Hinata! My baby!" He matched his voice and he chuckles when the said boy jumps to hug him.

"Ah please don't let Sugawara-san hear you calling him your baby." Tsukishima said that made their group chuckle. 

"Thank you for this! Everything is so perfect!" Shoyo said and kissed his left cheek.

"Silly. You payed me for this." He laughed and ruffles his still bright orange hair.

He shakes his head while clinging to him, "Still! It is way beyond my expectation!" 

"Of course, Akaashi is the best." Another voice came in, Kenma, who is walking towards the group with his big cat-like smile.

"Ahhh. Do you want a discount, Kenma? You're praising me now, it's a miracle." He joked and the group laughed at it.

"Uhh... Shoyo? Kenma?"

His laugh immediately died down and his eyes widen when he heard the voice. Five years has passed since he last heard it. Five years has already passed since he last saw the owner of that voice.

That voice that used to soothe him now makes him nervous. That voice who used to make his troubles go away makes him feel troubled now. That voice who used to send him to sleep now will make him sleepless. That happy voice that makes him smile as well is now making him tremble.

Everyone whip their heads towards the newcomer but not Akaashi. His heart is hurting just from the words that aren't even for him.

"Bokuto-san! You came!" Hinata is the first one to react among them, he detached himself from Akaashi maybe to hug Bokuto.

Bokuto Koutaro... 

"Akaashi-san, are you okay?" He heard Tsukishima's voice from his side, laced with concern. He looked at the younger and faked a smile. 

"Y-yes. I'll just... Go get myself a drink." He said as he walked hurriedly away from the group, not even sparing a glance at Bokuto.

He found the bar area in an instant and asked for a hard drink. He felt his throat constricted. He felt his hands shaking. Five years and his effect on him hasn't even changed a bit. It only worsened. It only got amplified. What the hell. He's supposed to be acting normal.

Five years. He thought he had moved on already. He thought he forgot everything. He thought...

He sighed deeply and looks at the ice swirling on his drink. He knows there's a really big chance to see him tonight. He was supposedly Shoyo's bestman anyway. It was just said that Bokuto was out of the country until tomorrow and would probably arrive by reception time which he really did.

They had the same circle of friends and he avoided him for years as much as he can. Everytime their group or his former volleyball teammates get together, he would always ask everyone if Bokuto is coming. If the said boy will come, he won't, if he don't, Akaashi will show up. That's how the last five years went. He did all his best just to avoid meeting him. But not today. He knows Bokuto has the softest spot for their group's youngest. He would always tell everyone that Tsukishima and Shoyo are his and Akaashi's babies. He would always address the younger ones as, "they are ours."

He drank all the content of the glass to try to wash away all the memories. How he wished alcohol really does. But he had drank a lot of alcoholic beverage, different types, but he's still like this. He hissed as he felt the alcohol go down his dry throat.

"I've always known you can handle alcoholic drinks but I didn't know you love it that much."

Akaashi inhales sharply as he heard his voice again.

'What the fuck. Can you just leave me alone.' He thought. He still look beside him and there he was, the boy from his past, the boy that made his perception about love and weddings change, Bokuto Koutaro. Five years didn't do much to his appearance. He looks the same, just the hair brushed up, just gained a bit weight. He still looks the same.

'But are you really still the same, Bokuto-san?' He wanted to ask but he have no guts to do so. "Where are they?" He asked him instead.

"They are in a table near here. Hinata and Kenma are talking to some guests. They asked me to fetch you." The taller answered as the bartender gave him his drink, he ordered one for himself again. 

He scoffed. It's probably pain-in-the-ass Kuroo who send Bokuto here to get him, it'll never be Tsukishima. Among all of them, Tsukishima has seen how ruined he got— he has been with him all the time. Tsukishima also does not go well with Bokuto the last few years but of course, they are still friends and Bokuto still cares alot for the younger.

He heard the older clear his throat, "I heard you are the one who organized the kids' wedding." Bokuto said when he didn't answer. His heart felt the familiar warmth when Bokuto still called the younger ones as kids. 

He drinks his alcohol again in one go, he can't be sober if he needs to talk to him. He nods, "Yes. My business actually." As if you don't really know. You and your playing dumb shits. Akaashi wants to add but he stopped himself.

He can feel the alcohol getting into his system, he has been drinking since earlier and he is on his third glass of this damn hard drink God knows what it is called. But it's doing its job to stop him from breaking down in front of his former captain who seemed unfazed, who looks so calm, who looks like he's been seeing him all day the way he casually talks to him. 

It's so unfair. He's so affected but Bokuto isn't? He is dying inside and this damn owl looks like that. Collected and his usual happy demeanor.

Bokuto hums and look around before looking at him, straight in his eyes. "I know you'll do well with these kind of... Things." For awhile he thought a pained emotion crossed his eyes. But that's so fast, then again he thought maybe it's just the alcohol. It's Bokuto he's talking with. If he's really in pain he'll show it, if he's really sad he'll show it. He's been transparent with his emotions so if it's really pain he saw, he'll know it.

'Because I know him so damn well.'

The taller took a sip from his drink, his eyes never leaving Akaashi's, "I have a proposal to make."

His heart aches from the familiar words. The words he said before everything went wrong. He feels like he can't breathe so he drank the content of his glass again in one go.

'A-Akaashi... I-I have a proposal to make. Will you—'

He shook his head to remove that one memory from his mind. "What is it?" He asked as he stood up straight when his world practically swirls, his eyes unfocused. He wants to look as unaffected as the man in front of him. He can't be the one losing again. He can't let himself to look beaten up again. He can't let Bokuto see how he wants to hug him. 

The man before him looks like he's not affected anymore. Maybe he really is not affected. Because who is he fooling? Bokuto doesn't love him anymore.

That's right Keiji. He doesn't love you anymore.

Bokuto licked his lower lip before answering, "I'm getting married." He said nonchalantly but Akaashi's world seemed to stop. He stopped breathing. He felt his head going bigger with the words.

But as if it isn't painful enough, Bokuto's next words were like daggers to his heart.

"I want you to organize it."


	2. But That's Ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When will be the wedding?

"What?! Akaashi-san, are you nuts?!"Tsukishima's usually soft and hushed voice echoed in the confinement of Keiji's office.

The younger's brows are knitted, he looks really upset and he can't blame him.

Akaashi placed his elbow on his table, his index finger and thumb pressed firmly on his temples, "listen, I was—"

"Drunk." Kei finished his sentence. The boy sighed and sat down on the chair in front of him, placing his pricy camera on his table.

After all of them graduated, the Karasuno first years established their own photo and videography business —that has started really small but now having multiple of branches around Tokyo and Miyagi— almost the same time as his business, and all his events are partnered with their studio. Tsukishima focuses more on photography while Yachi and Kageyama handles the videos, Hinata handles the pr and Yamaguchi for their finance and accounts. But all of them learnt how to handle photoshoots. They had a good balance among them. The weird duo, Kageyama and Hinata still pursue proleague.

Each one in their group has all been successful for the past five years. Kuroo has been doing well with his business related to volleyball. Kenma, the video game geek, is now an executive in a gaming corp and also doing video game streaming since he can't really let go of his games. Aside from being an executive, Kenma sometimes poses for Hinata when he holds a camera for a more commercial shoot. Hinata being in the proleague made him rarely do shoots but when he does, it's almost always Kenma as his muse.

Lev is now a model— well, given his height and good looks they were almost certain he will be along with his sister— and he sometimes work with the Karasuno first years for a more artsy, high fashion photography. Yaku on the other hand still plays in the proleague as well along with Bokuto.

He can't believe the glow up they all had.

"I can't believe Bokuto-san asked you to do that." Tsukishima said with spite and annoyance in his voice and narrows his eyes at him, "and I can't believe you agreed."

Akaashi sighed for the nth time since he told Tsukishima about it, "I just want to be over with it. Maybe doing this can make me accept that there'll be really no hope for us. And I don't want to look so affected. I don't want him to think that I'm still stuck in the past. Kei, please, understand me?" He said with pleading eyes looking straight into the younger's orbs and the latter immediately softens. He stood up and walked towards the older, hugging him from behind despite the backrest of his office chair. 

"But please if it hurts you too much just let Yukie handle it." Tsukishima said softly and full of concern as his large hand reached his left cheek and caress it gently, "understood?!"

He smiled and nods, blindly reaching for the photographer's blonde hair to ruffle it, "yes, boss. I will~" He said playfully that made the other smile a little. But they both know Akaashi will do it anyway.

"When will he come?" Tsukishima asked while still hugging the older, not minding his awkward position and just wanting to hug and comfort his "favorite senpai"

"Today. Later at 1pm." He answered.

The boy straighten up and spin his chair, "he really can't wait to torture you, huh?" The blonde said and pulled his hand, "we still have time. I have an appointment later at 12 too. Let's grab some brunch first?" He looks at him with puppy eyes he rarely uses but never failed to persuade him, "please?" He just chuckled and stood up, taking his work phone and wallet with him, "alright let's feed you, big baby."

*********

Akaashi parked his car beside Tsukishima's in his reserved parking space, frowning when he saw a black BMW beside his. He checked the time on his wrist watch. 11:30. Must be a new client.Tsukishima is still with him because the boy forgot his camera in his office.

"You're so forgetful. As far as I know, you're the younger of us two but you always forget about something. The last time we ate together with the others you forgot a whole ass bag in the restobar." He said with a hint of amusement as they step out of his car.

The said man whined and wrapped his arms around his neck sideways, clinging to him while they walk inside the building. Tsukishima, to others, is reserved and cold. But to him, because they've been through a lot, Kei shows him some of his clinginess, "what can I do? It's a trait of the geniuses."

He laughed and pinched Kei's nose, "genius my ass."

"Akaashi?" Their conversation was cut off when Yukie called him. They are in the receiving area already.

"Oh, Yukie-san. I saw a black car outside. Is that a new client or just Kenma buying Hinata buying another one?" He asked with a smile plastered on his face.

Yukie also smiled and shake her head, "you don't need to nag at Hinata because it's a new client." The three of them chuckled at the mention of the orange-haired male. He has been one of those "guardian-like" friends among them and he treats Hinata like his child since the time he got lost in Tokyo, "I already let him inside your office and gave him the tablet for our samples and folios. Also, Mr. Nakashima called earlier about his daughter's debut party next week."

Tsukki groaned beside him, "what does Mr. Nakashima wants again? When we had our shoot last weekend, he complains about the littlest thing that can't even affect the debutant's photos. Her daughter was so embarrassed of him. I swear he's the worst ever."

Yukie giggled, "Don't worry, Tsukishima. It's not a complaint. It is actually a bonus payment because the photoshoot went well and his daughter nagged him at home right after your shoot so he gave us the bonus."

The tall male immediately light up and stood straight, "oh wow Mr. Nakashima is the best."

Yukie and Akaashi laughed at the blonde's words, "You already know what to do. Give this baby his part and divide the rest among the staffs assigned for Mr. Nakashima's event."

The girl smiled, "of course, Akaashi. I'll just send your part to your account, Tsukki."

Akaashi mirrored her smile and pats her head, "you're really the best. We'll go inside now." He faced Tsukishima and grabbed his hand, "let's go. You'll be late." He said and walked towards his office.

He opened the door and his heart beats fast the moment he saw the person sitting in front of his table. "Bokuto-san? You're so early." He said casually as if he's not panicking inside. 

The said man whipped his head towards him then his eyes trailed down to his and Tsukishima's hands and then back to his eyes, "I have nothing to do so I thought I might show up early. I hope you don't mind." He answered before looking at the youngest among the three of them, smiling a little, "Hey, Tsukki."

Tsukishima evidently faked a smile that made him want to smack the back of his head, "Hi Bokuto-san." He briefly said and faced Akaashi, "I'll get going." He informed him and walked towards his table that made him walk as well because their hands are still clasped together.

The photographer got his camera and put the strap on his neck, "bye Akaashi-san. Call me whenever." Kei said and pecked his cheek. He walked towards the door but before he can even go out, "and Bokuto-san, congrats. You never told us anything and then suddenly you're planning a wedding. I've always known you to do rash things so it's not a surprise, I guess." He said in a flat, unamused voice them walked out of his office.

Keiji mentally facepalmed himself and walked towards his chair and sat down, "sorry about Tsukki. You know he can be a brat sometimes. He's maybe upset that you never told them about your fiancé. By the way, where is he or she?" he asked as he busied himself with his drawers, just not to meet the older's gaze. He can't let him see that he's hurt the moment he mentions his partner.

Bokuto hummed, "it's okay. I actually expect him to react that way. And my fiancé is busy right now so it's just me." A minute of silence passed and he spoke again, "anyway, I passed by a coffee shop and I want an iced coffee. I thought about buying you one as well because why not?"

That made Keiji look at him. His eyes then lands at the two cups on his table. Coffees from his and Bokuto's favorite cafe. One cup scribbled with the golden eyed's name and the other with...

'Akaasheee! You've been studying a lot so here's your coffee.'

'Akaashee! Let's go to the cafe today, please?'

'Akaashee! Can you get me a frap on your way home?'

'Akaashee—'

He bit his lower lip and hesitantly took the cup that is for him, "uh. Thanks." He said and sipped a bit which he instantly regretted. 'Fuck it. He still damn know how I want my coffee.'

"You got a nice place, Akaashi. Your office too. It's very you." The spiker said as he look around his office.

He smiled. After five years, he can proudly say that his business really flourished thanks to his honest words and marketing strategy. Of course, thanks to his staff that has become his family.

"Yeah. I had this two-story building three years ago. The ground floor happens to be the receiving area, we also display our sample materials there, and then Yukie and mine's offices. Well you saw that. But the second floor mainly functions as a storage for our big equipment and also some of our employees' room." He explained as he took his planner and opening it to the empty page.

"Employee's room?" The confusion in the older's voice is very evident.

"Oh, yeah." His smile grew wider when he remembered how he met his first three staffs. He took a sip from his coffee, placing it back on the table and gets a pen, "long story short, they are homeless people that I encounter in the park near my apartment then I discovered no one accepts them for a job and I immediately offered them to be my staff. I always drink and eat with them, talk to them back then in the park when I'm sad." His smile faltered when he remembered why he ended up eating and talking with the three mentioned staffs.

When everything fell apart between him and Bokuto, he didn't tell his other friends about it right away and bought a lot of beers and chicken instead, then walked to the nearest park he can reach at midnight. He's already seated on the grass, that's when he broke down crying because after years of being with Bokuto, since High School until he graduated college, he got used to eating, drinking, talking and laughing with him, even just lazing around and doing nothing, he feels the safest when the said boy is around. Breakfast, lunch and dinners with him. Late night picnics with him since the older doesn't plan dates and would just drag him anytime of the day even at night for a surprise picnic.

Three young men, probably same age as Hinata heard him crying so bad and approached him, asking him what's wrong. But instead of giving them a reasonable response, he pathetically said, "I can't eat and drink alone anymore." while sobbing. They immediately sat down with him, a silent offer of company.

It had been his routine every weekends to go to the park to eat with the three. After four weekends he discovered their situation and he decided to offer them a job in his still new and weak business and letting them sleep in his rented office.

"Akaashi?" Bokuto's voice broke him from his trance. His face has emotions he can't name.

Or he knows what are those emotions but he refuse to give himself false hope.

"Akaashi... You really have a good heart." The man's words made him want to cry and break down in front of him.

'You're saying that now but it's you who ruined this good heart.'

Akaashi cleared his throat and look down on the empty page of his planner, "so let's get down to your wedding."

Bokuto straightened his back and exhaled audibly, "yeah. That's what I'm here for."

He wanted to slap himself, he can already feel the regret of accepting this event bubbling inside him, "Yes. So when do you both want your... Ahm. Wedding. We need to know a date so I can see if we have an event scheduled on that date and we can make necessary adjustments."

Bokuto tapped his fingers on the table, his eyes never leaving Akaashi that makes the latter anxious, despite Bokuto's happy-go-lucky demeanor, he can read Akaashi well, "it'll be three months from now. June thirteen."

Damn it.

If awhile ago he wanted to slap himself, now, he wants punch the man in front of him.

'I want our wedding on June 13, Bokuto-san.'  
'Why that date, Akaash?'  
'I want to be a June groom. And I want people to know that 13 isn't an unlucky number.'

That date is the date of their supposedly wedding.

He wants to scream. His chest is aching so bad and he can't breathe properly. His eyes are blurring. He doesn't know if it's from anger or it's from the tears that has started to gather in his eyes.

Is this asshole doing it on purpose? Or he just really don't care about him and their past? Of all the dates, there's 365 days in a year, why that date?

"W-we... Have something scheduled on that date." He immediately answered, not looking up and gripping the pen tightly he's afraid it might break. The truth is they don't have any wedding scheduled on the said date. They never had. He never allowed. It's childish and petty, but he can't witness a wedding on that date.

"Are you sure? My groom wants that date and you haven't looked at your schedules ye—"

"I remember it okay?!" He raised his voice as he also raised his head, meeting his of course, clueless gaze. He knows he looks so mad. But he can't help it. He wants to say that he remembers it's theirs, that he remembers his happiness when the man he's talking with agreed with the date. He wants to tell him. But he can't. And should not. And he will never tell him. "I remember my schedule."

Bokuto, to his annoyance, just shrugged and crossed his arms, defiant and all stubborn, "but that's mine and my groom's date."

'But that's ours. Kou, that's mine.' 

"Then look for someone else who can give you that damn date." He said through gritted teeth. He can't help but lose his composure and be irrational.

"You're being rude to your supposedly client." Bokuto dared to say with puppy eyes and pout, looking dejected, to his utter disbelief. He wants to grip his hair so bad from too much frustration.

'Aren't you the one being rude here?'

"Are you calling me rude now." He said in a low, hushed voice. He is having a really hard time breathing at this point, his chest heaving up and down heavily.

Bokuto sighed, "look. I want your services because it's really topnotch but I want the date too. You said you can make necessary adjustments." He said as if he's a child not given a goddamn candy.

'how dare you use my own words against me?'

He closed his eyes for ten seconds to calm himself. Then he openned his eyes and writes 'Asshole's wedding: June fucking thirteen. I hope it rains hard.' on his planner. "Fine. June 13 is yours." He said in a voice void of any emotions.

He can really tell by now that after Bokuto's wedding, he will end up admitted in a mental institution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to update this the day after but I got so busy since I moved in another city, prepared for Christmas and was occupied. I hope y'all enjoyed this one. I'm sorry if there are some mistakes and errors since I proofread this in my half sleepy state. Comments are appreciated. ^_^ Happy Holidaaaaays! ^o^


	3. Amaryllis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the flower that resembles you.

Akaashi looked around his condo unit. A mess but a good kind of mess. He sighed. His mind? A bad kind of mess. Messier. More chaotic.

He stared down at the bottle he's holding then to the other three with him. Kuroo is on the one seater sofa, Lev is laying down on his couch using Yaku's thighs as his pillow while Tsukishima is beside him, sitting down on the floor, their backs on the said couch where their model friend is situated.

The four of them are in his home because he demanded a sleepover. This surprised them because he never initiated a sleepover, it's usually Lev or Hinata. The couple are still on their honeymoon but they facetime them earlier and of course, he did not invite Bokuto because he can't call him a friend and he is the reason why he needs company anyway.

He told his other friends about his situation with his former teammate and expectedly, they weren't happy with it. Kuroo even told him that he's gonna have a talk with Bokuto but he just asked him not to. He don't want their friends to take sides even though Tsukishima is pretty much obvious.

He just thought it's not worth it. A mess because of another mess is not worth it. They've been over for years already. It is not Bokuto's fault anymore that he is so affected of the fact that the other is going to be married. It is Akaashi's. No one is to blame but him. Because he is still stuck in the past. 

An arm wrapped around his shoulders that made him look up, "Akaashi, we've been here for almost two hours already, come on, tell us. I promise not to confront Bokuto. This is the least that we could do, to listen to you." He didn't notice when Kuroo got to his other side. He squeezed the shoulder where his hand is resting.

He looks at the other three boys and sighed at their expressions. Tsukishima of course, looks so upset while Lev and Yaku looks so worried, which he understands. "Yes, I'm hurting. I shouldn't be, I know. It has been years and I know he's already over it so I should be too." He drank the content of his beer and looked down, shoulders slumped, "I know I should be."

"Akaashi, you can't force yourself to be over it just because Bokuto is." Yaku said.

Tsukishima hummed and held his hand, "I told you to let Yukie handle this wedding."

He tried not to wince when he heard the word wedding. He is so used to hearing it already, but now, it gives him a lot of painful thoughts. He smiled a little and shrugged, "I don't want him to notice, even a bit, that I am affected."

"But you are. And it is not good for you, Akaashi-san." Lev said in an evidently worried voice and Kuroo nods his head.

He just let out a small, forced chuckle, "I'm okay. I might be hurting but I am okay, guys. I don't want him to think that I still love him. I don't want his ego to boost."

"But do you still love him though?" The blonde beside him asked that made him gulp. 

Does he still love Kou? 

No. The question should be, did he ever stop loving him?

Because he never did. Yes, it might not be as intense as the love he had for him before, but it was never gone. 

There were nights in the last five years that he still yearn for him. There were days that he would stop at their usual places just to reminisce. There were times that he found himself crying when something reminds him of the older.

That's why it is so painful for him. Because he is still not over the boy he only loved all his life.

How can he forget about his first love? How can he forget about the boy he knew when he's still in middle school, that became his boyfriend when they are both in high school and became his fiance right after the he graduated from university? 

He never dated again after him because he will just be fooling not only the person he will date but also himself.

So yes. He still does. But instead of that answer, "I don't know? I mean maybe I still have feelings for him but come on, it has been five years. It faded already."

Yaku already moved with the four of them and hugged him from the back, "Are you sure?" Kuroo asked. Of all the boys, Kenma, Tsukishima and Kuroo has always been keen observers so he is not surprised that Kuroo is skeptical with his answer.

He nods and pats the raven haired's hand on his shoulder, "of course I am."

Their little moment got cut off at the sound of the doorbell. He frowned and look at Tsukki, "did you order something?"

The said boy frowned as well and shook his head, "The four of us brought food already so I don't." He then get up and pulled Akaashi with him, "let's check who is it."

He nodded and walk towards his front door, Tsukishima's arm on his shoulder. He opened the door and his eyes widen at the person outside.

"Uh... Hinata told me that you guys are... Having a sleepover and it has been years since I last hung out with you so..." Bokuto said while looking at Kei's arms on his shoulder. "I can go home if you don't wa—"

"come in." He said in a flat voice and Tsukishima's grip on his shoulder tightens, "I don't want to be rude so come in." He said emphasizing the word rude to remind the taller about their last encounter. He opens the door wider and step aside to make some room so Bokuto can get inside.

The older clears his throat and walked in, taking off his shoe. He is wearing his volleyball team jacket and track pants, he must came after practice. He smiled bitterly when he remembered how he always remind the former team captain to always wear his jacket at night so he won't catch a cold.

The three of them walked back to the living room, Akaashi sat back down the floor in front of Yaku and Lev and Kei sat down beside him.

"Akaashi-san who's tha—" He chuckles at how Lev's eyes went wide and his shocked reaction, "Bokuto-san?! What are you doing here?!"

The said male put down his dufflebag on the floor beside the one seater sofa and sat down the couch beside Lev, "Hey Lev! Hinata told me about your sleepover." He said enthusiastically. Akaashi wants to choke the orange-haired boy right now.

"Came here from practice, bro?" Kuroo asked and gets up from the floor to sit on the one seater.

Bokuto leaned his head on the backrest, "Yeah. Tsum-tsum actually wants to practice more but I already heard from Hinata about tonight so I said I can't. He can't believe I rejected extra practice." Bokuto laughs when he said that. His mouth formed an O shape and looked at Akaashi, "uh Akaashi, before I forgot I brought some more snack." He handed him the plastic bag that he didn't notice he's holding.

Before he can reach for it, Tsukishima already did and put it on the coffee table in front of them, "Yeah. Thank you."

"So! Movies?!" Lev announced loudly to clear the awkwardness in the air.

"Put up Netflix, Lev." Akaashi instructed and the said boy followed, "Kei, come with me to my room so we can get pillows and comforters." He stood up when he saw the younger smiled.

He walked to his room with Tsukishima following him. He opened the door, walking in and he walked inside as well. He closed the door and crossed his arms, his lips forming an expression that say, 'unimpressed', "Tsukishima Kei."

The blonde raised both his brows and looked at him, "yes? Let's get what we need, Kuroo-san might choose something dumb."

He sighed, "Tsukishima please don't be rude to Bokuto-san."

"Oh." The photographer put his hands on the pockets of his pajamas, "Sorry."

"You know Bokuto-san is still like a big brother to you and he will always have a soft spot on you along with Hinata and Lev. So don't be rude just because of me. Please?" Akaashi said as he put both of his hands on the younger's shoulders.

Tsukishima looked at him as if trying to decipher his words and emotions, "yeah. I'm sorry Akaashi-san. I'm just upset."

Keiji smiled and pats the younger's head, "let's get the pillows."

Tsukishima smiled a little and nodded his head, "alright."

The two of them takes six pillows and some blankets and went back to the living room. He gave the four other boys a pillow each and blankets. He put the comforter on the floor and the pillows so him and Tsukishima can lay down.

"What are we gonna watch?" The photographer asked as the both of them took their spots, the younger putting his arms under his head to get a better view of the screen while Akaashi sits down on the comforter and put the pillow on his lap.

"anything but horror or Marvel. No offense to Marvel but I already watched all of them at least twice thanks to Hinata." Lev said and all of them laughed. 

"Alright, just choose whatever. I'll get some snacks. Just don't let Kuroo-san decide on the movie." He said and gets up, taking the plastic bag Bokuto brought as the said former Nekoma captain whines. 

He walked to the kitchen and get a big bowl where he put some nachos and Cheetos. He put out what was inside the bag on the table. His eye caught a container that is oddly mixed with the unhealthy snacks. He opens the lid and his eyes widen when he saw what's inside. This food he knows by heart. The container is full of boiled rapeseed plants with karashi mustard.

'Bokuto-san prepared these? For me?' 

Among all of them, he is the only one who's fond of this food. Their friends think it's kinda weird. So he knows, he knows it is for him.

Well damn. What is Bokuto doing? Is this some kind of, 'nah you can't forget me, I know' shit or he just really cares for the other?

Akaashi shook his head and get another bowl where he put all the snacks Bokuto brought, also a plate because Bokuto even brought Tsukishima's favorite, a slice of strawberry shortcake. 

"Uh Akaashi?" He almost jumped when he heard someone's voice behind him. He turned around, ready to nag at Bokuto for scaring him but was taken aback when he notice how close the older is to him.

"You scared me." He said and held his chest because it was beating so fast. He doesn't know if it's from the shock or because of the other boy's presence.

Bokuto chuckled, "Kuroo asked for more beers. That man is surely gonna get wasted."

He turned away from the boy and continued what he was doing earlier, "it's in the fridge.Just go and take them."

Bokuto hummed and walked towards his refrigerator, opening it and taking some bottles. "Use a tray to carry them all." Akaashi instructed because he knows he'll take them all by his hand and he has no energy to clean up now. He took two trays and handed Bokuto the other one. He used the other tray for the bowls, placing the container in it too.

"Uh Akaashi... can I have a request for the wedding?" Bokuto asked, not looking at him as he takes beer bottles from his fridge.

Akaashi rolled his eyes. 'Can you like give me a break, I'm at home, should be moving on from you.' 

"Uh. Sure, what is it?"

Bokuto placed the last beer bottle on the tray and look at him, his face contorted as if he's thinking, "about the flowers. I want them white chrysanthemum and red amaryllis."

Okay. Well, damn. He wants to shove Bokuto's face in the tray in front of him right now. He wants to shove him and throw him out of his goddamn home and cry to his friends.

'Akaasheeee! I want red amaryllis for our wedding! Since it's the flower I always give you and the meaning behind it right?'  
'ah, yes of course. I was thinking the same but I want white chrysanthemums too to match the color red and the meaning behind that flower is nice too.'  
'Hmm? What is it?'  
'Truth and loyal love... Like ours.'  
'And amaryllis are like you. Splendid beauty. It is your flower, amaryllis is made for you.'

Akaashi tried to stop himself from crying, but he's too late. A tear already fell down his cheek. He took the tray immediately and turn his back, "hmm. Sure. I'll go back there first."

He wants to slap himself when his voice broke a little. He can't let Bokuto know he's in pain. He can't let him know he's still so damn affected. He can't let him know it hurts him, every plan he makes for a wedding with someone that isn't him.

He walked back to the living room and placed the tray on the coffee table abruptly, causing it to make a noise. He lay back down beside Tsukishima and hugged the younger, his face hidden in his shoulder.

"Akaashi-san?" Tsukishima looked at him and cupped his cheek, "Are you crying? What's wrong?" The blonde asked him worriedly.

He breathe in deeply and wiped his cheek, and as if on cue, Bokuto walked back in, placing the tray of beers on the table as well. "Not tonight, Kei. Let's enjoy the movie." He said and look back on the flat screen TV in front of them.

Tsukishima sighed and rubbed his back soothingly, his eyes also focused on what's on the screen, but his mind fixated to the older man in his arms.

***  
While watching the third movie, Lev and Bokuto knocked out on his couch, Kuroo, Yaku and Akaashi are all drunk but still conscious, Tsukishima is the only one left sober since he never fancied drinking alcohol.

"Tsukki?" He looked up to Kuroo who called him. The said man got really wasted. 

"Aren't you going to sleep already, Kuroo-san?" Tsukishima asked him, his fingers threading Akaashi's hair absentmindedly.

"Can I have a minute with you? I need to tell you something but not here." Kuroo said, his words slurred and his eyes unfocused.

Tsukishima got up and walked towards Kuroo, extending his arm to take his hand, "alright. Let's talk in the guest room so you can sleep after as well."

The walk to the said room is not easy because Kuroo stumbled often and would've fall face down if not for the younger helping him on his feet.

Thankfully they reached the room, he sat down and pulled the older to sit next to him. "What is it, Kuroo-san?" He asked curiously. It's not often that Kuroo shares what he feels to any of them since Kuroo seems to want to be a strong pillar for his friends. So he makes sure to listen attentively.

Kuroo raised his head and smiled at him, Tsukki doesn't know but drunk Kuroo looks adorable, "you know, I'm not someone who tells people what I feel, right?" He started off, words still slurred.

He nods his head and put his hand on the other one's knee, "I know Kuroo-san. So I'm thankful you chose to trust me for this."

The raven haired male giggles and put his head on Tsukishima's shoulder, "I don't know if you'd still feel thankful after I tell you what is it."

"Kuroo-san, trust me. I will. Just tell me. The blonde said and stroke the older's knee with his thumb for comfort.

Kuroo audibly sighed, "I hope so. I kept this for a longgg long time already, Kei. This long!" He said and put his arms wide open that made the younger smile, "but I can't hide it forever. I'm getting jealous over something I should not."

He then lift his head, the older's hand found Tsukishima's cheek and held it softly, delicately, as if scared that the other will fade away when he touch him. So gentle as if touching an art that isn't supposed to be touched.

But Tsukishima's eyes went wide when suddenly, he felt Kuroo's lips against his, chapped but still soft. Kuroo pulled away before he can even react, "I am so in love with you, Tsukishima Kei." He said and passed out on the bed.

Kei's wide eyes brimmed with tears as he look at the older who's already sleeping, seemed so peaceful but he knows he had caused a chaos inside the said man, his hand found it's way to the older's face, caressing it softly, "Kuroo-san... I'm sorry. But I can't. Just like you, I am also in love with someone who can't love me back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to update this like, everyday but I'm so so preoccupied with a lot of things. Also, I didn't notice the typo error on the title of the previous chapter geez so I'm rlly sorry if there's errors, I'm not the type to read my works. I hope you're enjoying this. Let's hope for the best ono


	4. Bruised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keiji reached his limits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I updated late than I initially planned but holiday season really gives me soooooo much errands. Happy new year everyone!

Akaashi slumped down on his swivel chair. It's early in the morning and he already feels gloomy. Why? Because he woke up to Bokuto's text message saying he'll go to his office to discuss the wedding.

He is so close to giving the event to Yukie and just cry.

But of course, the only thing left to him is his pride, he won't let Bokuto have the satisfaction of seeing him crumble down. Not in a million years. Not in this lifetime or the next ones.

He sip on his coffee when someone knocked on his office door. 

'God damn, Kotaro, it's fucking 9am. You never wake up this early on your day offs. what the fuck.' He groaned and throws his head back, "come in." 

The door opens and a loud, "Akaashi-san!" comes after. He smiled and looks at the newcomer, or newcomers, Kenma holding a paper bag on his left hand and holding Hinata's hand on his right.

He stood up with arms wide open, walking towards the two and hugging them both, "You're here already looking fresh and blooming, how's the honeymoon, hmm?"

The three of them walk towards the couch on the other corner of the room, sitting down, Akaashi being in between the two, "it's so nice! Maldives looks really beautiful." Hinata said with a sweet smile.

"I still want South Korea." Kenma said in silently that made him chuckle.

"Baby, we can always go there anytime you want as long as the two of us are free, you know?" Hinata said and boops his husband's nose that made Akaashi smile while looking at the couple's interaction.

"Okay. Oh. By the way, we bought something for you from Maldives." The long-haired male said as he showed him the paper bag he's holding.

He thanked the two then Hinata goes on a full fit of story telling about their trip and the activities they did there. He also showed him pictures that he took. He praised each and every photo that the youngest had taken that if Shoyo have puppy ears, it'll be all perked up. He's like a child while telling him everything they did, of course, he spare him what they did behind closed doors. Hinata has always been a lively, cheerful kid, the group's baby even though he always complain that he is not a baby anymore, and would always reason out that, "Kenma is my baby."

Suddenly the two of them quieted down and stared at him. He frowned at them, "what?"

"Akaashi, tell us. Are you okay?" Kenma asked in a serious voice.

His frown deepens that he's worried he'll have wrinkles in his 20s, "of course, I am."

Kenma took his hand and squeezed it, "We heard from the others that Bokuto-san asked you to organize his wedding."

"And Tsukki told me, no, ranted to me how Bokuto-san wants the wedding to be like, you know." Hinata added.

He heaved a deep sigh, "I'm okay. I am hurt but what can I do? He is a client and what he wants is what he gets."

Hinata hugged him, leaning his head on Keiji's shoulder, "Things will get better, Akaashi-san."

Kenma joined in by putting his hand on his back, tapping him, "You'll never know, Akaashi, maybe someday you'll be surprised and get the happy ending that you deserve."

Akaashi just gave the two a sad smile and leans his head on Hinata's.

Will he ever have it? He thinks he won't ever. Because it's only a happy ending if there's Kotaro in it.

***  
The couple left him when Bokuto came in, greeting him and talking to him for awhile, reminding the two of them that the group will hang out this Wednesday in their usual restaurant. He wants to tell them he can't come and he's busy because he don't want to spend more time with the older but he don't want to be selfish.

He opened his planner with a mark of 'Jerk's wedding', "So—"

"I have a question first, Akaashi." Bokuto cut him off before he can even say anything.

He raised a brow and frowns, "sure. What is it."

Bokuto licks his lower lip and look at him, "are you and Tsukki dating?"

Akaashi chokes on nothing and coughed before he barked out a laughter, "what? Me and Kei? Are you on drugs?"

Bokuto frowned and pouted, "No! I'm just asking. It's okay if you don't want to tell me."

Akaashi shakes his head and gets a pen from his penholder, "we're not. Bokuto-san, you know I treat him as my younger brother. It's impossible."

The spiker sighed like he's... relieved? "oh. Oh. Okay. Yeah, I remember."

He laughed a little more and cleared his throat, "so. Going back. Anything you want to add for your... Uh... Wedding? And I'll be asking you details later like the venue and such so we can make necessary reservation and preparations as early as now."

The spiker hums, he loved it when he hums, he's like a child thinking of a reward he wants, "The color motif."

He cursed in his head and prays that Bokuto won't say what is in his mind, "Yes. What will it be?"

Bokuto looked at him in the eyes as if he's looking right in his soul before answering, "Blue and black. It kinda sounds like a bruise..."

'...but it's us. Like how you're blue to me, giving me calmness and peace when I'm going on my mood shifts. And I am black to you, might be dark, you don't know what's going on in it, but somehow it gives you comfort.'  
'wow Bokuto-san. Since when did you think?'  
'Akaashee!'  
'I'm kidding, love. And it's our favorite colors too.'  
'Yes! That's why I want it to be our wedding's motif.'  
'I love it. Alright. Black and blue it is.'

Akaashi lost his grip on his pen, his throat constricted. Of all the things Bokuto wants for his and to whoever the hell his groom is wants for their wedding, this one hurt him the most. Like a glass shattered in his heart and its shards digs deeper in it. Because the colors he wants represents the two of them like they always say. Because Bokuto said those words to him about the colors like how he said it to Akaashi from the past, but now, his blue is a different person and not him.

He stops himself from crying. He picked up his pen and hold on to it tightly as if his sanity depended on it and wrote what Bokuto said, "A-alright then." He breathe in deeply that he regretted immediately because he just inhaled the older's scent he knew so so well that if he has his eyes closed and he need to look for him in a crowd, he'll be able to locate him immediately.

His heart clenched painfully and his eyes are blurry but no, he won't cry now. Not in front of this person who unknowingly —or purposely, he doesn't know anymore— hurts him. He kept a straight face and ask him more questions about the damn wedding and his heart hurt more and more, breathing becomes harder and harder as Bokuto answered his each and every question.

It is clear to him now.

Bokuto wants a wedding exactly like their supposedly one. Exactly like how they planned it before. The same as his wedding. The only difference is not with him but with another man. 

"Do you want anything more?" Akaashi asked. He wants this to be done already or else, this talk with Bokuto will make him go insane. He wants him to leave now and not see him anymore.

"Oh. Nothing more. I'll just text you or drop by here if I want to add something else." The spiker said in a voice showing that unlike him, he is not affected anymore. He is not affected even though the wedding he wants is what the two of them used to plan.

'How fucking dare you, Bokuto Koutarou.'

"Okay. If you'll excuse me, I need to meet with a client outside." He lied. He doesn't have any client to meet with. He just want him gone now.

"Oh sure, Akaashi. Thank you and see you again." Bokuto said in his usual cheerful voice and stood up, leaving his office.

'Never want to see you anymore.'

As soon as Bokuto stepped out of his office, he intercommed Yukie and he didn't need to wait for his assistant to show up, "yes, Akaashi?"

Akaashi tore up a few pages of his planner that made Yukie shocked because he is very organized and never wants his planner ruined. He wrote a number on top of the paper and hand it to her, "you'll handle this from now on. If a client shows up, kindly assist them."

Yukie looked at him worriedly and took the papers from his hand, "anything more that you need?"

"Nothing else. You can leave now." She nods and walked out of his office, not after sparing him one last worried glance.

His tears run down when the door shuts and with trembling hands, he took his phone to make a call, "Kei... Kei please come here..."

***   
Days passed by quickly and it's already Wednesday night. He fetched Tsukishima from his apartment because he knows he can't show up alone. 

They talk about anything but Bokuto on their way to the restobar to his relief. He knows Tsukishima is being cautious with him too. He knows he wants Akaashi to forget. And he wants it too. God he badly wants to forget that stupid owl.

The two of them arrived and get inside the resto while laughing, Tsukishima's arms linked with his.

"God how far is your apartment from here, you two are late." Lev whined but with a smile on his face.

"Sorry okay? I fetched this big baby from his apartment because he is so lazy to drive." Akaashi answered and glared at the taller one playfully. 

"Well." Tsukishima just shrug and hid his laugh behind a snort.

He looked over the table and saw that the only seats available are in front of Bokuto and beside Kuroo which are side by side. Before he can even move his feet, Tsukishima is already settled in front of Bokuto. He sat down in the middle of the two former middle blockers.

"Ah. I'm between the teacher and the student." He commented and chuckles.

Kuroo smiled a little, "ah. Yes." He said in a forced enthusiasm that made him frown but he'll just let it pass for now. Kuroo is usually one of the moodmakers in their group along with Bokuto and Hinata so it's weird for him to see the older being so uncharacteristically quiet.

"Akaashi-san, we ordered already. Don't worry, nothing that the two of you don't like." Hinata said in a smile who's sitting in front of him.

The group proceeded to ask the couple about their trip and even though he knows that Hinata already told all of his friends about it one by one, all of them still listened to his excited stories. No one can say no to their baby.

"Bokuto-san, I suggest you go there for your honeymoon." Kozume said that made him bite his lower lip. He knows the other didn't intend it and it's just him being overly hyped of his honeymoon with Hinata as well, though he just try to keep it to himself. But still everyone except Bokuto looked at him with concern right after Kozume's words. "Uhh... Akaashi, I—"

"Yeah. I heard Maldives is really a paradise and base from the couple's words, it'll be really worth it to go there."Akaashi cuts off and wants to congratulate himself when he said those words as nonchalant as he can. He looked over Tsukishima and saw the younger smiling at him like a proud kid. He smiled back at him and the two of them giggled, hiding it with their hands.

"Ah. Really. I'll consider that." Bokuto said in surpisingly serious voice. He looked at the former captain and saw him staring at Tsukishima. 

The food arrived right after as well as the alcoholic drinks they ordered. He wants to be drunk this night. Maybe just for a night, he can forget everything. Maybe the alcohol can help.

Their chitchats continues as they eat. 

"Kuroo. I forgot to ask this after we had our movie night at Akaashi's." Yaku said while munching on his chicken wings.

"What is it?" Kuroo asked before drinking his can of beer.

"Where were you when everyone's asleep already?" 

The man of confidence, Kuroo Tetsuro, choked on his beer when he heard Yaku's question. Tsukishima immediately stood up to rub the older's back that made him flinch a little that didn't go unnoticed in his eyes. He has been observing the two and usually, they'll sit beside each other and would endlessly bicker, usually Kuroo teasing and Tsukishima insulting, that are amusing and not offending to be honest, the older. The two of them are very much comfortable with each other.

But now all he can see is awkwardness and distance.

What happened between the two?

"I-I crawled my way to the guest room because I can't fit well on the small sofa." Kuroo said and looked over Tsukishima as fast as lighting, "thanks."

The blonde sighed and sat back down on Akaashi's other side as he continue eating.

"Kei try this. You'll like this." He picks up the food with his chopsticks and put it in front of the said boy's lip.

Tsukishima look at it for a second before opening his mouth and taking it, his eyes widening a little while he's chewing, "oh. Akaashi-san this tastes good. Can I have some more?" Tsukishima asked.

Akaashi smile and did as what the younger said, feeding him in between his own bites. 

Someone cleared his throat and he looked up to see Bokuto looking at the two of them, his lips curled in an unamused expression that made him annoyed. What now? 

"Tsukki, let Akaashi eat properly." Bokuto mumbled but what he said is clear to the two of them. 

He raised a brow and pick up some of the food he's giving Tsukishima, "what's your problem with it? I have no problem with it."

"I'm just concerned—"

"Well keep that concern to yourself because I'm perfectly eating fine and enjoying seeing Kei eat." He rolled his eyes and focus his attention to Tsukishima who has a smug expression on his face.

After that one uncalled conversation between them and Bokuto eyeing him and Tsukishima as if they're doing a crime, the dinner went fine and each one of them have drinks on their hands. Lev already looked so red after just one beer bottle, Kuroo of course, with his high tolerance and love for alcohol looked as if nothing happened, as well as Yaku, the rest of them are tipsy.

He leaned his head on Tsukishima's shoulder and the latter put his arm around his shoulder, absentmindedly playing with his hair when Bokuto decided to speak again. To his fucking displeasure.

"Aren't dating he said but acting like they are." The older said childishly and snickered right after that made his blood boil.

Akaashi, under the influence of alcohol and anger, stood up and slammed the table, "what is wrong with you, huh, Bokuto Koutaro?" 

All of them looked at him, the other six with wide eyes, the other one with an expression he can't decipher. "What, Akaashi?"

The said man gritted his teeth and leaned down to level with Bokuto's face, in different circumstances, it will affect him so bad, but he is so mad right now he doesn't care anymore, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Bokuto leaned back to the chair's backrest and looked up to him, "What? I was just commenting."

"Commenting." He looked up and exhaled loudly in disbelief. He needs to thank the beers for giving him such bravery, "you are so annoying, frustrating, maddening! First you asked me to organize your wedding. Your fucking ex-fiance!"

"Akaashi-san—"

"No no no Hinata. Don't try to stop me I'm not done yet. I'm so so tired of this." The said boy halted his movements and sat back down. No one dared to speak anymore. They know he is mad. Annoyed. Frustrated. Hurt. He rarely show emotions and when he finally does, it has to be like this. His eyes went back to the person sitting in front of Tsukishima, "then the next, all the things you want for your wedding with someone we haven't fucking met yet are all the things we planned before!" He can feel his eyes brimming with tears but he has no energy to stop it anymore.

Bokuto stood up, panic now evident in his eyes, "Akaashi, listen—"

He tried to reach out but he stepped back, the chair he was sitting earlier making a little noise, "No, you asshole listen to me." He said, pointing his finger to the man he's so in love with. He can feel the tears streaming down his face already but he can't give a damn about it anymore. He's so fed up. So fed up already. "What's wrong with being sweet to my friend when you can even ask your ex to organize your fucking wedding?!" 

He took the can of beer he just recently opened and drank it's content before anyone could even react, "I hate you so much Bokuto Koutaro. That's my wedding. That's our wedding! That's my wedding date, my venue, my color, my flower that's mine! How dare you use them for others? How dare you ask me to plan it for you and someone else when you can see I'm so so much affected? How dare you!"

He took his bag as he took a deep breath, "don't worry, Yukie will be handling it from now on, everything will go as planned but I don't want to see your face ever again." He said with so much anger he didn't know he can give to someone he loves for about half of his life.

He walked out of the restaurant and he knows, he's sure now, that he will walk completely out of Bokuto's life as well.


	5. Tangled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're like ribbons that are tangled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for those who are commenting! Your words means so much to me, for real. I'm not someone who's confident with my works, I don't even read the ones I write so your comments means a lot. Thank you for supporting this fic! I hope you all enjoyed your new year! Comments are reallllllly appreciated.
> 
> Also let's have some Kurotsukki here bc I miss them but they'll have a separate story since this is a trilogy. :3 
> 
> Have a great year to all of us! Thank you so much!

It's a Saturday night and it has been three days since Akaashi last went to work, or since he went outside his house. He instructed Yukie the things she needed to know and told her he might not go to work for a few days to his assistant's surprise. Because in the five years of his business, he never took a break even if he's sick. He asked her to drop by his apartment building for his planner and his work phone which he only left with the receptionist.

He's never this careless. He's always responsible with his job. He used his job to get over the man who broke his heart years ago. He worked all day so he can stop thinking about him and numb himself by drinking at night.

But things are different now. He can't do that if the person he wants to forget is his client.

After he is sure that Yukie took his things already, he turned off his phone and locked himself in his home and here he is now.

He is known to be a big eater but in the past three days, he only lived of ramen because he has no energy nor appetite to eat. 

He went to his fridge and sighed when he noticed that he ran out of beers already. The only companion he has for the past three days, alcohol. 

He walked back to his room and took his wallet. He does not wanna risk opening his phone and possibly reading his friends' messages just to make an order online. So he'll just buy the beers himself. The convenience store is just a block away from their building anyway.

He dragged his feet to the front door, grabbed his keys and opened it, only to be stunned when someone was standing in front of it.

"T-Tsukishima. What are you doing here?" He asked and look at the younger's eyes with some emotions he can't decipher.

To his surprise, Tsukishima pushed him inside his apartment and closed the door behind him. "What are you doing, Keiji?" The photographer asked in a low, hushed voice but he still was able to hear it.

"I-I'm—" he tries to think of something to reason out but he can't think of any. Maybe stunned with how the other said his name as if he's pleading or the fact that he's here, he doesn't really know what rendered him speechless.

Tsukishima stood in front of him, not saying anything, head down. They stayed like that for a few minutes until he noticed the younger's shoulders moving.

He took a few steps and cups the blonde's cheeks. His heart aches when he saw him crying, or trying to stop himself to cry but wasn't able to. "Hey hey. Tsukki why? Look at me. Why are you crying?" He asked worriedly.

Tsukishima looked at him, his eyes full of concern, his cheeks tear stained and his lips quivering. "Why aren't you answering your phone? I've been knocking here everyday but you never answered. I asked your parents where you possibly are but they don't know. You didn't go to work and Yukie said you're just here." He sniffles and Akaashi wiped the tears that continuously flow down the younger's cheeks, "Keiji, if you're hurt you know I'm here... We're here. You worried me a lot. I thought something bad happened to you. I thought— Keiji I thought—"

Akaashi shushed him and pulls him in a hug, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just wanted to be alone that I forgot you're gonna worry about me. I am really sorry, shush now." 

He pulls Tsukishima to the living room and made the both of them sit down the couch. He sighed at the sight of his living room. His house is always clean. But now...

"Akaashi? You've been drinking?" The blonde asked and looked at the bottles of vodka and cans of beer that lays around his coffee table. "And what have you been eating?" He picks up an empty ramen cup, "instant ramen?! Akaashi!"

The said man sighed again and leans on the backrest, "Tae. I want to forget. I turned off my phone because I know you all will be asking where I am and might slip to Bokuto-san. I want to be alone as well. I don't go to work because Bokuto-san might be there. I gave Yukie my work phone because Bokuto-san might text there about his god damn wedding."

Tsukishima held both of his hands gently, carefully, "you don't have to be alone, Keiji. I'm always here."

He smiled a little, "I know. You've always been."

He looked at him in his eyes, the younger's usually unexpressive orbs piercing through him, showing a lot of emotions all at the same time, "Forget about him, Keiji." 

He pulled his hand from Tsukishima's and run them on his face, his eyes brimming with tears, "you know I want to for so long. I've been trying to for five years already. I want to forget what I feel for him, I don't want to feel this way anymore..."

Tsukishima slowly reached for his face and wipes the tears he didn't notice and cupped his cheeks, "Forget him with me, Keiji. Use me to forget him." 

His eyes widen with what the younger has said, "w-what?" 

"Keiji. I've been in love with you. So in love. Please, forget him. Just be with me." The younger said in a whisper.

His mind stopped working at Tsukushima's words— confession. He looks all over the other's face to see if he's bluffing. But he saw only sincerity.

Sincerity from a pure and genuine love he knows he cannot reciprocate.

He faked a laugh, "Tsukki, this is not the time to joke arou—"

"I'm not joking." The blonde sighed, "I'm in love with you. Isn't it obvious?" He shakes his head, "I'm always one call away to you. Unlike with our other friends. I hated Bokuto-san because he hurt you, he left you."

Tsukishima looked at him again but this time, with pleading eyes that made Akaashi's tears stream more, "Let me help you forget Bokuto-san. Love me, be with me, it doesn't matter if I'll be a rebound—"

"Kei, of course it matters!" Akaashi's hands hold the younger's face and look at him, "listen. I can't. I can't do that. I don't want to hurt you. I know you've been hurt all this time but I never want to hurt you intentionally. Tsukishima, don't do this."

Akaashi sighed and lowered his head, his mind is going frenzy, head aching with what's happening, "you can't just ask me to love you that way, Kei. If I can just control it, who knows if I would?" He said and pulled his already messy hair with his right hand.

But what comes next is what Akaashi didn't expect, never expected to happen.

Tsukishima held his chin, lifting his head up, leaned forward and the next thing he knew is that there's lips against his.

He was stunned and can't move. His hands that was on the other's face and his hair went to the blonde's chest that must have made Tsukishima think that it's a positive response so he moved his lips against Akaashi's. That's when he push the younger and stood up, his eyes wide as plates.

"Tsukishima, leave." He said blankly and steps backwards, away from the younger.

"A-Akashi-san I—"

"Leave please. I can't. As much as it hurts you, it hurts me more that I'm hurting you and that Kou is gonna get married." He walked towards the stairs but he looked at Tsukishima one last time, the younger's shoulders slumped and tears running down his face, "I love you as a brother, I will always love you that way. But that's it. I'm so sorry." He said with finality in his voice and went up to his room.

Things gets messier and he don't know what to do anymore.

***

Tsukishima left Akaashi's apartment after he heard the latter's bedroom door closed. It feels like the door to tje older's life closed as well.

And can't be opened anymore.

Tears never stop running down his eyes. He didn't bother to use the elevator even if the raven haired's apartment is on the top floor. He's beyond devastated he can't think of the right things to do anymore. 

He's beyond hurt. He expected this already. But still, it feels like a mirror shattered into millions of pieces and pierced his every fiber.

His eyes are blurred with the tears, so he considered it a miracle that he's able to go down the stairs without slipping and missing a step. 

He also didn't bother to take his car from the car park of the building and walked aimlessly, his feet having its own mind, walking through the cold sidewalks of Tokyo. He bumped with some people, some of them shouting at him but he couldn't care less. The nagging screams inside his head is louder than their voices. His heart aches more than his shoulder bumping to them.

His chest is clenching so bad. Akaashi's sad and sorry eyes never leaving his memory. Even if he close his eyes, it seems like it was already embedded in the back of his eyelids. His heart feels like it is being ripped and stepped on at that sight. 

He knows, he doesn't wanna see that look on his face anymore.

He can feel a shiver that ran down his spine from the cold night but it couldn't be compared to the one he felt when Akaashi asked him to leave.

He scoffed. A brother. He's always a brother in the older's eyes. He knows. He's not dumb. Ever since they became friends, Akaashi treated him as the younger brother he never had along with Hinata and Lev. He always tend to his needs and whims, is sweet to him, is caring, thoughtful.

But his stupid heart took it as something that could mean him being his favorite senpai's lover. His mind might disagree, but his heart is stupid, so so stupid.

So stupid that it didn't consider the fact that Akaashi was already taken and madly in love with his another senpai that never treated him wrong.

His stupid heart, no matter how much he resist, fell for his favorite setter.

That when Bokuto left and broke Akaashi's heart, he felt a mixture of emotions, one of them being happiness.

He thought that finally he had a chance. Finally, he can confess. Finally he can show him how much he loves him. He'll just have to wait a little, wait for the time that Akaashi will move on from Bokuto.

But that time never came. 

Who is he fooling? They're high school sweethearts. Akaashi was so in love with Bokuto that he can't even accept weddings from his client if the date is June 13.

Who is he fooling... He can never be more than a little brother that Akaashi adores.

He inhaled heavily, the freezing air of winter filling his lungs that made him feel more alone.

The stupid part of him wants to push the idea to Akaashi even if he knows himself that it's wrong. Maybe he'll get persuaded if he ask him more, or pouts in front of the older that he rarely do. Anything that can persuade him to say yes to Tsukishima.

He knows it's so so wrong but can you blame him? He only wants Akaashi to be happy.

And he wants to be happy too.

Sadly, he's not the one that Akaashi wants to be happy with. He's not the one who can make him happy. Not in this lifetime, probably not in the next ones too.

He is trying to catch his breath from too much sobbing when someone pulled him by his shoulder. For a second, he thought it was Akaashi, maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he wants him now. Maybe he'll accept him. 

He turned around but his eyes never lands on a lair of teal colored ones but rather, two strangers are standing in front of him, "Hey pretty boy. You look so sad. Mind if we make you happy?" The taller one of them said and laughed.

The hair on his nape stood up. He already feels scared just by looking at the two men smirking at him, "a-ahm no thanks. I'm heading home." He said and tried to escape but the smaller of the two grips his arm that made him flinch. 

"Ooh. Not so fast, pretty. We'll accompany you home, come on." He said and tried to lean towards him but someone behind Tsukishima pushed the stranger back harshly and pulls him to hide on his broad back.

"Back off or I'll call the police." He said coldly, holding his phone up that has the emergency number ready.

"Kuroo-san..." He called out and wraps his trembling hands on the older's arm hesitantly.

"Woah chill. Tsk. Man let's go." The taller said and walked to the opposite direction. 

The two of them watched the strangers walk away. When Kuroo is sure that the other two are gone, he held his hand and pulled him to the the car parked on the side of the road. He opened the door for him and guided him inside the passenger seat, fastening his seatbelt and closing it before walking towards the driver's side and getting in. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Kuroo asked him, worry laced in his voice. His hands went to touch him but hesitated and puts them down on the steering wheel. 

Tsukishima looks out of the window, fresh tears coming out of his eyes, "they didn't. But I'm not okay. And I'm hurt. So so hurt..." He said, "thank you, Kuroo-san." He added as he wrapped his arms around himself.

The former Nekoma captain reached for something from the backseat— his coat. He wrapped them on Tsukishima's shoulder and pulls him in a hug, sighing deeply, "let's take you home." He said and pulls away. 

But his other hand reached for Tsukishima's and never let go of it through out the drive.

And their linked hands made him feel safe. Made him feel things.

He's a bit confused but he didn't have the energy to think about it as he drifted to sleep.


	6. Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How cold winter can be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! I'm sorry for not updating for awhile. I got busy and anxious over sumth hehe. Thanks to my friends in twt for helping me proofread this bc my eyes can't really keep up anymore. Mwehe
> 
> Thank you to those ppl who are reading this. 🥺 I hope you're enjoying. You can comment feedbacks, I'm rlly thankful to those who are commenting. 🥺
> 
> Have a good day everyone 🥰

Winter. 

Akaashi used to hate winter when he was a kid. He always loved spring, where flower starts to blossom, trees grow its leaves and everything comes back to life.

Winter, for him, is dull and lifeless.

It was winter when he first saw him. He met the bubbly and energetic boy when he watched a match of the nationals when he's in his last year of middle school. Unlike him, unlike the winter, he's a ball of sunshine, always smiling, seemed so so warm.

"Fukurodani's rookie, Bokuto Koutaro scored again!"

And the loud cheer comes after. But he heard the boy's happy scream above all the noise.

That's when he decided, he'll follow the star. He'll go to Fukurodani.

"Uhm, Akashi. Would you mind setting for me for awhile?" 

He heard Bokuto asked him on his first day in the club when training is over. He looked behind him, there, with a bright and innocent smile, he's asking him as if he's not tired. 

Akaashi's beat but who can say no to that smile?

"It's Akaashi and of course, Bokuto-san."

"Yay! Thank you Akaashi!"

Who knew that 'for a while' for the spiker is 'until I'm satisfied. 

"I'm so sorry, Akaashi! I got really happy when you agreed to me that I didn't notice the time. Next time, I won't take too much of your time!" Bokuto said as they walk towards the train station. Apparently, their houses are a few blocks away from each other.

Akaashi looked at the gray-haired(?)— his hair is so unique — boy and gave him a small smile, "it's not a problem, Bokuto-san. It's extra practice for me too." 

Bokuto walked ahead of him and stopped in front of him that made him stunned, "really?! You don't mind?!"

'as long as I can get to practice with a star like you.' he wants to say but, "mhm. We can practice whenever you like."

To his surprise, Bokuto hugged him, "thank you! I love spiking your tosses too! Your tosses are the best!"

Akaashi's eyes widen and he feels his cheeks heat up. He fixes his scarf and hid his mouth in it because he's smiling too big the people around them might think he's crazy.

\-----  
It's been a few months since he joined the club when they participated in a training camp. And when he first took note of Bokuto's mood changes.

It's against Nekoma, the spiker and the middle blocker from the other team, Kuroo, who keeps on taunting each other. 

Bokuto's cross shots keep on getting blocked and Akaashi himself is getting annoyed because he thinks it's his fault.

More so when Bokuto said, "Akaashi, don't toss to me anymore."

The first year is so close to crying, overthinking things.

'I thought he loves to spike my tosses?'  
'are my tosses not the best anymore?'  
'am I failing the team?'  
'who's gonna set now? I'm the only setter...'

They lost the game and Bokuto's still not speaking to him.

It's night time and the coaches are out for drinks, Akaashi is beside a tree looking at the gym where they played all day long. Insects are biting him but he couldn't care less, his mind is all over the place. Konoha-san, another senpai of his, told him that Bokuto gets affected easily and changes his mood in a snap.

But he can't help but blame himself. And feel sad that Bokuto doesn't want his tosses anymore.

He wants to smack his own head when a cold breeze passed. It's summer but still, it's nighttime so he needs to be at least wearing a jacket outside.

"Akaashi?" 

He looked up and saw the spiker he's been thinking of, pouting and looking at him with puppy eyes that makes Akaashi want to hug and hide him from the world.

"Yes, Bokuto-san?" He said in a small voice.

The said boy sat down beside him, "Why didn't you toss to me?"

He can't help but gawk at the said boy, "because you told me not to?"

The pout on his face keeps growing, his brows furrowed now, "but! I want to spike your tosses!"

Akaashi can't speak for a while, processing what Bokuto is saying and showing him.

His mind analyzed everything and that's when it clicked to him on what he's supposed to do.

"Alright. I'll toss to you, always." Akaashi said and looked at him.

Bokuto's smile is the brightest that stars in the sky can't compare.

\----

Since then, Akaashi got drawn towards the warmth Bokuto emits. He learned how to handle his sudden mood changes, taking note of the reason behind those. Akaashi rarely talks, but as the weeks pass by, he also became a part of Bokuto's group of friends aka the second years. The two of them spend time together, their lunch breaks, after practices, and also go home together because their houses are just a few blocks away from each other.

Everyone saw how the two of them complement each other even though they can be considered as polar opposites. As Akaashi showcases his talents and critical thinking skills inside the court, Bokuto also improves, in the zone whever he plays.

But also, as the days passed by, Akaashi realizes that he has feelings for the older. He tries to keep it to himself, but whenever Bokuto's batchmates tease them, he can't help the blush that creeps on his cheeks. Whenever Konoha tells him, "he might actually like you too." He can't help but be hopeful. It's not good for him when he's trying to repress what he feels.

"I can't believe I will be a senior next week," Bokuto said and sighed. Bokuto and him are in his room watching One Piece and eating some sandwich Akaashi's mom prepared. They've been really close that even their parents got closer to each other too.

Akaashi's heart clenched, "yeah. And you'll graduate soon." 'leaving me alone in Fukurodani.'

The two of them are sitting side by side in his bed, Bokuto leaned his back on his side, "mhm. But I will never leave you, Keiji."

It's very rare for him to use his given name but when he does, it sends Akaashi a different kind of rush in his veins, "hmm?" He just hummed because he doesn't know what to say.

Bokuto peeked at him, looking up from his position, "I planned to go pro after high school. Some teams are already scouting me."

Akaashi looks at the screen and bites on his sandwich to distract himself from crying, "good for you, I guess."

Bokuto giggled and straighten up his back, hands on Akaashi's shoulders to force him to look at him, "but wherever I am, I'll stay with you. I'll be with you, Keiji. Promise me you'll be with me too."

Bokuto's eyes, round and expressive, now speaking volumes to him he can't decipher in an instant, but he nodded his head and said, "I promise. I'll support you when you go pro."

They're staring at each other's eyes, pair of teal ones to golden orbs and suddenly, he's only aware of the two of them. He is aware of how close their faces are. He is aware of how Bokuto gulped and his gaze trailed down from his eyes to his lips. He is aware when Bokuto leaned closer. And his senses spiked up when he felt those lips he's been dreaming of touching his, soft, gentle, almost as if he's scared the other will disappear if he pressed harder.

His first kiss. Their first kiss. 

Bokuto pulls away and looked at his eyes again, "Keiji... I really like you. A lot."

Akaashi felt his eyes brimming with happy tears when he smiled, "I like you too, Koutaro. A lot."

\---

Nothing changed after their confession except the stolen kisses in school, the skinship that has been there before that they notice now, Bokuto being clingier, Akaashi being sweeter, more attentive, and more thoughtful towards the older.

Their friends screamed in the middle of the court one practice game against Nekoma once they told them that the two of them are boyfriends already. They even made a bet on who's gonna confess first and Konoha won. That made Kuroo and Kenma know about them too.

However, they thought that telling their parents would be hard. The two of them are trembling in fear when Bokuto asked his parents to visit Akaashi's for dinner. They dropped the bomb after dinner when everyone is settled in the living room. Their nervousness is changed to confusion and relief when they earned waves of laughter from them and, "I thought the two of you are together since you're in your first year, Keiji." "We knew you'd end up together." And, "You two are very obvious. Especially you Akaashi. You hate it when someone hugs you but would initiate cuddles with Koutaro." That made the said boy's face red.

Their relationship is as steady as a deep river, blossomed like spring despite Bokuto graduating (oh the number of tears Keiji cried that time) and the year after, Akaashi going to university. They always understand each other's busy schedule and would support one another in the things they want to pursue — which made their relationship grew stronger. 

When Akaashi graduated, Bokuto proposed to him in his small graduation party prepared by his lover. In front of everyone close to them, he knelt, took out a ring, and asked, "Keiji, baby, will you marry me?" That made him nod frantically while tears streaming down his face and screaming a loud, "Yes!"

They had it beautiful. They had it easy.

His winters weren't cold anymore when someone is there for him, cuddling him and giving him warmth through his wide and bright smile.

But all things have their ends, right?

"I see that you're with Udai Tenma again." Akaashi heard those words from his fiancé the moment he opened their shared apartment's door.

He sighed. He's exhausted from all the work he's done in his small events organizing business. He's still starting that's why he still lacks manpower, making him do all the work that can't be done by others.

He removed his coat and shoes, walking towards the living room where he saw beer bottles everywhere and Bokuto sitting on the end of the couch, arm placed on the armrest and not looking at him. "Kou. How many times do I have to tell you that Tenma is a former coworker and just hired our services for his mother's birthday?" Akaashi said as calmly as he can and sat down on the other end of the couch.

Bokuto scoffed, which he rarely does, "Oh really. Is that why I saw him almost kissing you?"

Exhaustion and frustration aren't a good mix that's why the ever so calm Akaashi snapped, "I already told you yesterday that something is stuck in my eye when you saw us!"

The spiker stood up in front of him, "Stop fooling me! I saw what I saw! You're even fucking giggling that time!"

"Because we are joking about his mom's guest list!" Akaashi is so annoyed and stood up as well, "don't be so closed-minded for fuck's sake!"

Bokuto shook his head and looked away, his eyes flashed so much anger but Akaashi, too, is so annoyed to feel scared, "Don't you trust me? We're already engaged! We're about to get married in two months! We're—"

"And I'm calling it off!"

Akaashi feels like time froze, his heart immediately beats so fast, hid body gone cold, "w-what?"

Bokuto looked at him with the expression he only wears when his moods change way back in high school, "you heard me."

He shakes his head frantically, "Y-You're just drunk. Baby. Baby hey, let's calm down and t-talk—"

But the man he loves is firm, "There's nothing more to talk about."

Akaashi, feeling helpless, dropped on his knees as tears run down his cheeks non stop, he held both of his lover's hands and kissed them repeatedly, "N-No... Kou, please. No. Please I'm begging don't do this. Please... We're okay. W-We're okay—"

"We're not," Bokuto said without looking at him, removing his hands from his own. "We're over." He added coldly that his heart felt how cold those words mean. 

Bokuto left Akaashi a total mess in the middle of their apartment, the apartment that had so many good memories, had so much happiness, used to be so blinding bright.

Too blinding maybe that he didn't see the ending.

He's not able to sleep that night, he's waiting for Bokuto to come home. But he didn't.

He went to work, lifeless, and functions on autopilot. He went home and Bokuto's things are gone. He heard from Konoha that Bokuto was scouted by an overseas team.

His winters have been colder than it used to since then.


End file.
